Learn to say NO

  • Learn to say no

We live with the fear that saying no, in some spontaneous outcome of events, will lead us to lose a lot or few of the things we find valuable and hold dear, like our saying no will somehow make us miss out on some of the fundamental aspects that make up the average human life. For example, money, fun and other joyful experiences. But by always saying yes, we’re unconsciously taking value out of our time. Learning to say no can save us a lot of time and stress. While we may be afraid that we’d be letting down the people in our lives, there is also an advantage to this simple act. People will start respecting to you more when you start saying no. People perceive that as a strong character trait.

It’s high time you started aiming at living your best life and stopped doing things to live up to other people’s expectations. You shouldn’t have to do things you don’t like. If you do not learn to say no, and continue to do the things you do not like to do, you begin to dislike the person you are trying so hard to please.

Saying no doesn’t necessarily always have to be to your benefit. You say no to some people in order to actually help them. Take for example a night out with your spouse.  Now your spouse might propose a night out on a day you may not be feeling like it. You most likely won’t be in a good mood and this has every tendency to affect your spouse as you will end up being in a dull mood throughout. This is clearly not fair to them as you are not mentally present. In such a situation it would be better to suggest going out the day after or some other time. Your partner will respect you for that. Of course you should also help them understand your reasons and also encourage them to take the same measures whenever they may be feeling similar.

Conforming to other people’s expectations can greatly impact your outcome in life. Learning to make decisions for yourself put puts you in a position of responsibility. We are all unique and all have things we desire from life. Collectively and individually. Getting asked of things you’re not comfortable with is unfair to you and your general wellbeing. We have to follow our passion and carve our own paths.

Chidimma Nwakama